Nutfobpad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, duplicitous chinchilla.

Nutfobpad created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nutfobpad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nutfobpad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nutfobpad's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Nutfobpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face turquoise.

2. Nutfobpad loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Nutfobpad loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Never touch ash while tainted.

5. Always help otters.