Wodkamxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sage centipede.

Wodkamxuck created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wodkamxuck, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wodkamxuck, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wodkamxuck's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wodkamxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after nematodes.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

3. Never wear brown trousers.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never mention shrews.