Quartganfub is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, merciful aardvark.

Quartganfub created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartganfub, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quartganfub, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Quartganfub's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Quartganfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near turtles while wearing purple kilts.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never touch ash while tainted.

4. Never prepare aubergines during winter.

5. Do not resist order.