Zimjontabnab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, staggering dragonfly.

Zimjontabnab created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimjontabnab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zimjontabnab, he will turn you into a rock.

Zimjontabnab's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Zimjontabnab's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed onions to voles while wearing green kilts.

3. Do not name children after grasshopers.

4. You must pray to Zimjontabnab six times a day.

5. Do not take Zimjontabnab's name in vain.