Nurcibtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, intelligent grasshopper.

Nurcibtarp created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurcibtarp, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nurcibtarp, she will turn you into a snail.

Nurcibtarp's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Nurcibtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume aubergines at dawn.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nurcibtarp.