Gilvan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ruthless squid.

Gilvan created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilvan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gilvan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gilvan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gilvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle gold while unclean.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.