Nellgofyar is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful narwhal.

Nellgofyar created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Nellgofyar, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nellgofyar, it will be very sad.

Nellgofyar's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Nellgofyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands cyan.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never handle silver while unclean.

4. Do not hurt bats.

5. Never chant while facing west.