Pangpadqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, cheerful guinea pig.

Pangpadqueeg created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangpadqueeg, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pangpadqueeg, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Pangpadqueeg's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Pangpadqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never wear violet shirts on sacred days.

5. Always help sick foxes.