Dadcunham is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, annoying cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dadcunham created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadcunham, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dadcunham, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Dadcunham's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Dadcunham's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never proclaim while facing south.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Always wear gray.