Dutbetjabhudlin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, confident eagle.

Dutbetjabhudlin created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutbetjabhudlin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dutbetjabhudlin, he will send minions to preach to you.

Dutbetjabhudlin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dutbetjabhudlin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dutbetjabhudlin.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not laugh at crossroads.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.