Sissassak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage weasel.

Sissassak created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Sissassak, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sissassak, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sissassak's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Sissassak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.