Xenfudham is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciless fish.

Xenfudham created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenfudham, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xenfudham, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Xenfudham's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Xenfudham's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Feed all hungry tortoises.