Bepbogtun is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, humane slug.

Bepbogtun created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepbogtun, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bepbogtun, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bepbogtun's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Bepbogtun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear blue shorts.

4. Worship no other gods but Bepbogtun.

5. Never adorn your arms with white markings.