Somzogham is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, stupid octopus.

Somzogham created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Somzogham, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Somzogham, he will laugh at you.

Somzogham's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Somzogham's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry geese.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Somzogham loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.