Gepwadhog Henteenbastbom is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful parrot.

Gepwadhog Henteenbastbom created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepwadhog Henteenbastbom, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gepwadhog Henteenbastbom, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gepwadhog Henteenbastbom's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gepwadhog Henteenbastbom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Never touch water while tainted.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.