Labsidfen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, tranquil whale.

Labsidfen created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labsidfen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Labsidfen, she will destroy your favourite star.

Labsidfen's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Labsidfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Run away if nine gulls approach from the west.

5. Never talk about archaea.