Bedlunwap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fast turtle.

Bedlunwap created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bedlunwap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bedlunwap, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bedlunwap's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bedlunwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Hide from turquoise grasshopers for they are unholy.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never speak at dawn.