Tapyattam is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, charitable tortoise.

Tapyattam created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapyattam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tapyattam, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tapyattam's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tapyattam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Never skip in summer.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.