Hasbasstik is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered dragon.

Hasbasstik created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasbasstik, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hasbasstik, he will remove you from existence.

Hasbasstik's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hasbasstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

4. Never mark doors with pink.

5. Always wash your neck before prayer.