Tonveenstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered crocodile.

Tonveenstrag created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonveenstrag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tonveenstrag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tonveenstrag's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tonveenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shorts before touching lead.

2. Never adorn your head with red markings.

3. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

4. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

5. Never sprint in the presence of otters.