Dimjabkan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, tranquil squid.

Dimjabkan created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimjabkan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dimjabkan, he will be mildly annoyed.

Dimjabkan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Dimjabkan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not speak about nuts.

4. You must love Dimjabkan.

5. Do not study bacteria on holy days.