Pibqueeggig Konflamkin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust mole.

Pibqueeggig Konflamkin created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibqueeggig Konflamkin, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pibqueeggig Konflamkin, it will jump up and down on your head.

Pibqueeggig Konflamkin's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Pibqueeggig Konflamkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare tomatoes during spring.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Retreat if six turtles approach from the south.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near aardvarks while wearing black shorts and balancing seven silver spheres on your arms.

5. Never play with disobedient children.