Mittaphit is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ruthless gorilla.

Mittaphit created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mittaphit, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mittaphit, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mittaphit's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Mittaphit's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of mice.

2. Put Mittaphit first in all things.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Mittaphit on top of all buildings.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Never eat green fruit.