Citpodpark is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet weasel.

Citpodpark created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Citpodpark, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Citpodpark, she will send you a sign.

Citpodpark's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Citpodpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

4. You must pray to Citpodpark five times a day.

5. Put Citpodpark first in all things.