Barnsugten is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental manatee.

Barnsugten created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnsugten, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Barnsugten, it will throw large rocks at you.

Barnsugten's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Barnsugten's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ants.

2. Never fashion tools from stone.

3. Always help sick pigs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.