Arpflyjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, self-confident pig.

Arpflyjarn created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpflyjarn, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Arpflyjarn, he will destroy your home solar system.

Arpflyjarn's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Arpflyjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Arpflyjarn's priests.

2. Hide from red dogs for they are unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Erect three tin sculptures of Arpflyjarn on top of important buildings.