Wodvolbimlogzenfed is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful scorpion.

Wodvolbimlogzenfed created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodvolbimlogzenfed, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wodvolbimlogzenfed, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wodvolbimlogzenfed's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Wodvolbimlogzenfed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Wodvolbimlogzenfed in the centre of the settlement.

2. You must pray to Wodvolbimlogzenfed four times a day.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about dark matter near great tits while wearing fawn dresses and balancing eight silver spheres on your back.