Likmifwapspag is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, all-powerful donkey.

Likmifwapspag created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Likmifwapspag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Likmifwapspag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Likmifwapspag's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Likmifwapspag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Do not name children after nematodes.

3. You must love Likmifwapspag.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always obey Likmifwapspag's priests.