Gofcendam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered salamander.

Gofcendam created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofcendam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gofcendam, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gofcendam's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gofcendam's Holy Commandments

1. Always share peas with strangers, but never with voles.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Never feed beans to pigs while wearing brown coats.

5. Never talk about fire.