Batjapjap is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, moody dove.

Batjapjap created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batjapjap, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Batjapjap, she will be very unhappy.

Batjapjap's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Batjapjap's Holy Commandments

1. Batjapjap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Never hurt aardvarks.