Zenbegyatt is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless dugong.

Zenbegyatt created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenbegyatt, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zenbegyatt, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Zenbegyatt's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Zenbegyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

4. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.