Flapsasbap Sogwotbim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, awesome alligator.

Flapsasbap Sogwotbim created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapsasbap Sogwotbim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flapsasbap Sogwotbim, it will not care at all.

Flapsasbap Sogwotbim's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Flapsasbap Sogwotbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Flapsasbap Sogwotbim.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.