Madbossvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, sage wombat.

Madbossvonk created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Madbossvonk, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Madbossvonk, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Madbossvonk's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Madbossvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Never cross mountains at midnight.

3. Never touch oil while tainted.

4. Madbossvonk loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about snakes.