Tinbinbed is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, smart alligator.

Tinbinbed created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinbinbed, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tinbinbed, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tinbinbed's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tinbinbed's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Tinbinbed in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never feed limes to porpoises while wearing green ear rings.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never skip in the presence of tapirs.