Hanwipbig is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, resourceful octopus.

Hanwipbig created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanwipbig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hanwipbig, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Hanwipbig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Hanwipbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Never point your feet toward the east during prayer.

3. Never eat garlic.

4. Hanwipbig loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Never allow grasshopers to sleep beneath your roof.