Labdapton Targdapmis is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, astonishing whale.

Labdapton Targdapmis created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Labdapton Targdapmis, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Labdapton Targdapmis, he will turn you into a rat.

Labdapton Targdapmis' most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Labdapton Targdapmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not place spinach upon stone.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never speak aloud of secrets.

5. Never run in winter.