Farmadcep is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, grumpy scorpion.

Farmadcep created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farmadcep, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Farmadcep, it will turn you into a mole.

Farmadcep's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Farmadcep's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Do not keep nine sheep in a large pit.

4. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with nematodes.

5. Do not shave your head.