Ditdodpas is a god.

He takes the form of a large, loving cat.

Ditdodpas created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditdodpas, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ditdodpas, he will turn you into a sheep.

Ditdodpas' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Ditdodpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple coats.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near mites while wearing green jumpers.

3. You must love Ditdodpas.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.