Stipflabster is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sage crane.

Stipflabster created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipflabster, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stipflabster, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Stipflabster's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Stipflabster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Stipflabster in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never sing near badgers.

5. Always help bats in need.