Stragmiptap Yimbusgon is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, loving tortoise.

Stragmiptap Yimbusgon created the Andromeda Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragmiptap Yimbusgon, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stragmiptap Yimbusgon, she will refuse to believe in you.

Stragmiptap Yimbusgon's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Stragmiptap Yimbusgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

2. You must pray to Stragmiptap Yimbusgon seven times a day.

3. Never adorn your chest with orange markings.

4. Always remove shoes before touching gold.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.