Sugcetyar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, contented fish.

Sugcetyar created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugcetyar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sugcetyar, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sugcetyar's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sugcetyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Never adorn your head with fawn markings.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Always obey Sugcetyar's priests.

5. Do not name children after cats.