Ratkoplig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, all-knowing ferret.

Ratkoplig created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratkoplig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ratkoplig, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ratkoplig's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Ratkoplig's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Run away if seven tapirs approach from the south.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not hurt manatees.

5. Never prepare onions during summer.