Matflagkom is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, flying wombat.

Matflagkom created the Black Eye Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matflagkom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matflagkom, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Matflagkom's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Matflagkom's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never mix tomatoes with ash.

3. Never talk about optics near porpoises while wearing green rings and balancing five gold spheres on your arms.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Do not speak about parsnips.