Basslenvilbemflowjopjen is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered goblin.

Basslenvilbemflowjopjen created the Virgo Supercluster two billion years ago.

If you believe in Basslenvilbemflowjopjen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Basslenvilbemflowjopjen, she will turn you into a slug.

Basslenvilbemflowjopjen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Basslenvilbemflowjopjen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black nematodes for they are unholy.

2. Always store figs above ground.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. Do not wear scarves marked with blue.