Bisshonbet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, clever turtle.

Bisshonbet created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bisshonbet, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bisshonbet, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bisshonbet's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bisshonbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not stand on grass.