Komyaktaf is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, humane otter.

Komyaktaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komyaktaf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Komyaktaf, it will boil you in a big pot.

Komyaktaf's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Komyaktaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach forests carrying bone.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never cross mountains at dawn.

4. Never gather seven frogs near walls.

5. Never sit in autumn.