Kophamtim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable squid.

Kophamtim created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kophamtim, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kophamtim, it will refuse to believe in you.

Kophamtim's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Kophamtim's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never wear white kilts.

3. Never eat limes on fasting days.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing cyan corsets.

5. Never hurt moths.