Naryarwiptonk is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish rat.

Naryarwiptonk created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Naryarwiptonk, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Naryarwiptonk, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Naryarwiptonk's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Naryarwiptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Naryarwiptonk.

2. Do not name children after birds.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.