Quimruthogwat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, bad-tempered coyote.

Quimruthogwat created energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quimruthogwat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quimruthogwat, he will not invite you to parties.

Quimruthogwat's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Quimruthogwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle iron while unclean.

2. Never mark doors with green.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

4. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

5. Do not chop down trees.