Quamvilwitbid is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, able aardvark.

Quamvilwitbid created the Tadpole Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quamvilwitbid, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quamvilwitbid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Quamvilwitbid's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Quamvilwitbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of secrets.

2. Always store pineapples above ground.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Do not speak about apples.