Yarzim is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, almighty elephant.

Yarzim created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarzim, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yarzim, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Yarzim's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Yarzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always store wheat above ground.

3. Never mark doors with cyan.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Always stare at clouds.